I entered the ACFW Genesis contest a couple of months ago and received the results from the judges this past week. I did not win, but received a plethora of information that I could use to improve my novel as well as future endeavors.

I’m posting the tally sheet with the middle score and judge who offered the most commentary. Two of the judges really seemed to like my work, and one did not. But I’m leaving that for a future blog post 🙂

They were judging my summary and the first fifteen pages of the novel. Along with the scorecard, they provided commentary on those pages, pointing out the reason I received the scores that I did and ways to improve my writing.

The judges were editors and published authors. They were people with experience. If you’re like me, you’ve had friends and family review your work. While they can tell you if it’s a good story or not, they probably don’t have a clear understanding of the mechanics or expectations a book requires to be published.

It was $35 dollars well spent. I got invaluable information, and a chance to get my work in front of professionals in the field.

Entry: Ariel’s Revenge

Judge #: GHRJ298 | File Name: 000069014.docx

Question	Score	Comment
Does the entry hold your interest to the end?	5.00	Yes, I found the summary very interesting! Love that it’s a complex adventure with mystery.
Is the point of view consistent? Are POV changes smooth and logical?	5.00	Yes, each is well-placed.
Do sensory details (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste) enhance the scenes?	4.00	It is mostly smell and feel.
Is there a sense of time and place?	4.00	I can tell by the way they speak and transportation that it’s like the 1700s, but I’m not sure when exactly.
Do the scenes move the story forward?	3.00	Yes, but Ariel reflects and comments too much and repeats those that they slow down the story and tension. I have pointed this out in the Word doc.
Is there an opening line that immediately hooks the reader into the story?	5.00	Yes, I like that it starts with Ariel speaking and it gives mystery to why she’s doing what she’s doing that I want to keep reading to find out.
Is the writing fresh and original?	4.00	Mostly, it just gets weighed down by all the commentary and repetition. I’d like to see some beautifully written lines. But the POVs do have personality.
Does the writer utilize showing and telling?	4.00	Mostly so.
Is the author’s voice distinct?	4.00	Mostly because of the strong personalities of POVs.
Do you get a strong sense of what the story will be about?	5.00	Yes, and not just because of the summary. I can tell her plans won’t work out the way she’d like, that Blake will butt heads with her but they will fall in love, and that her step-uncle will be hot on her trial and catch up to her and reveal who her father really was and how he was murdered.
Does the author have a command of the elements of grammar, punctuation, and spelling?	5.00	Yes. There were only like 3 places that needed fixing.
Does the manuscript reflect Christian worldview? Are the story and plot elements compatible with the genre category?	5.00	Yes, although, so far, it is only Ariel who prays and exudes Christian-like attributes.
Is the dialogue between characters strong, revealing plot and emotion in a way that creates tension? Does it help move the story forward?	4.00	Yes, but I’d like for Ariel to have someone like her handmaid help her escape just so she has some real dialogue and someone to talk to. I get that she’s on her own, but her scenes feel very isolated.
Are the characters’ voices distinct and appropriate for the setting (time period or scenario?)	4.00	Mostly so. They each speak in a way and use terms for that time period. There were only a few lines that didn’t seem to fit the way they are worded.
Is the narrative necessary and well-placed with the dialogue?	5.00	Yes, each POV comes across as well-placed with strong motives and something to add to the story.
Are character motivations powerful enough to create sufficient conflict?	4.00	Yes, however, I know the most about the antagonist, her step-uncle, in what he wants and why and how he’s going to get it and what stands in his way. I only know that Ariel doesn’t want to marry him but not really what she thinks about marriage or what she wants for herself or even how she plans to clear her father’s name. I know that Blake wants to avenge his fallen comrades and get to what really happened that night, but so far I do not get the sense from what I know from the summary that he’s a rake. I’m not sure what he wants exactly or why he’s a spy.
Is the tension and conflict discernable enough to tell what the story will be about?	4.00	Yes, although if Ariel, Blake, and Charles’s motives were clearer, we’d have more specific conflicts.
Is the goal and purpose of the main character identifiable? Do you get a sense of what he/she wants?	4.00	Mostly, see my explanation above about their motives.
Do secondary characters contribute to the story?	4.00	Yes, they add important dialogue and tension.
Do characters’ emotions seem believable by providing understandable motive?	5.00	Yes, I get a sense of urgency from Ariel, sadness from Blake, and anger from Charles.
Total Score:	87.00

Hope this helps someone.

-Jan R