Be Definite, Specific, and Concrete – Revisited

Don’t you hate it when you’re talking to somebody and they are all wishy-washy? Why can’t they just come out and say it? Most of the time you know what they are getting at and want to spit it out for them. Well, the same thing goes for writing.

The surest way to gain and hold a reader’s attention is through definite, specific, concrete writing. Don’t make me as a reader try to figure out what you are trying to say. It’s not my place to write your novel. I just want to read and enjoy it. Allow me to enter the realm of your imagination without trying to figure out every little detail myself.

Examples:

The weather was dreadful. vs. It rained every day for a week.

He was happy to take possession of his well-earned reward. vs. He smiled as he placed the coin in his pocket.

I don’t think I have to point out which sentence in these examples is the more specific and concrete. Also, you may have noticed when I went concrete, I lost the passive “be” verbs 🙂

Best-selling authors are effective because they deal in particulars and report details that matter in a definite, specific, concrete way.

Just something to think about.

-Jan R

Be Definite, Specific, and Concrete – Revisited

Narratives -Should I or Shouldn’t I?

Narrative. Should I or shouldn’t I? We all know the unspoken rule of writing. And for those who need a reminder, it’s show don’t tell. With this being said, there are legitimate reasons for using narrative and there are legitimate reasons for not using narrative.

Dos and Don’ts

  • Do – use Narrative to speed through scenes that aren’t important but relevant to the storyline.
  • Do – use Narrative to slow the pace after an intense scene to allow your reader to catch their breath.
  • Do – use Narrative to show the passing of time.
  • Don’t – Narrative can sound like lecture if not done properly. Someone interrupted the story to give a speech.
  • Don’t – Narrative summary can make it unclear whose POV you’re working in.
  • Don’t – Narrative runs the risk of robbing scenes of their power. It summarizes everything and important scenes aren’t allowed to play out.

So, there it is. There is much more to Narrative that I’m not getting into today, but hopefully this short blog gives you something to think about. Narrative is an important tool in writing when used correctly, but if used incorrectly, it will pull your reader out of the story and their suspension of disbelief. Use it sparingly.

-Jan R

                                       

Narratives -Should I or Shouldn’t I?

195 Powerful Verbs That Will Spice Up Your Writing

I wish I could take credit for this blog, but it was written by Jerry Jenkins. He is probably my favorite blogger and one of my favorite authors. You can find him at jerryjenkins.com

I share this blog every year to catch my new subscribers and remind myself and my older subscribers of the importance of powerful verbs.

He gave permission to share his work with any writer who needed to read it. He wanted to get the word out. I thought about you, my followers.

Jerry Jenkins ….

Do you ever wonder why a grammatically correct sentence you’ve written just lies there like a dead fish? I sure have.

Your sentence might even be full of those adjectives and adverbs your teachers and loved ones so admired in your writing when you were a kid.

But still the sentence doesn’t work.

Something simple I learned from The Elements of Style years ago changed the way I write and added verve to my prose. The authors of that little bible of style said: “Write with nouns and verbs, not with adjectives and adverbs.”

Even Mark Twain was quoted, regarding adjectives: “When in doubt, strike it out.”

That’s not to say there’s no place for adjectives. I used three in the title and first paragraph of this post alone.

The point is that good writing is more about well-chosen nouns and powerful verbs than it is about adjectives and adverbs, regardless of what you were told as a kid.

There’s no quicker win for you and your manuscript than ferreting out and eliminating flabby verbs and replacing them with vibrant ones.

How To Know Which Verbs Need Replacing

Your first hint is your own discomfort with a sentence. Odds are it features a snooze-inducing verb.

As you hone your ferocious self-editing skills, train yourself to exploit opportunities to replace a weak verb for a strong one.

At the end of this post I suggest a list of 195 powerful verbs you can experiment with to replace tired ones.

What constitutes a tired verb? Here’s what to look for:

3 Types of Verbs to Beware of in Your Prose

1. State-of-being verbs

These are passive as opposed to powerful:

  • Is
  • Am
  • Are
  • Was
  • Were
  • Be
  • Being
  • Been
  • Have
  • Has
  • Had
  • Do
  • Does
  • Did
  • Shall
  • Will
  • Should
  • Would
  • May
  • Might
  • Must
  • Can
  • Could

Am I saying these should never appear in your writing? Of course not. You’ll find them in this piece. But when a sentence lies limp, you can bet it contains at least one of these. Determining when a state-of-being verb is the culprit creates a problem—and finding a better, more powerful verb to replace it—is what makes us writers. [Note how I replaced the state-of-being verbs in this paragraph.]

Resist the urge to consult a thesaurus for the most exotic verb you can find. I consult such references only for the normal word that carries power but refuses to come to mind.

I would suggest even that you consult my list of powerful verbs only after you have exhausted all efforts to come up with one on your own. You want Make your prose any your own creation, not yours plus Roget or Webster or Jenkins. [See how easy they are to spot and fix?]

Examples

Impotent: The man was walking on the platform.

Powerful: The man strode along the platform.

Impotent: Jim is a lover of country living.

Powerful: Jim treasures country living.

Impotent: There are three things that make me feel the way I do…

Powerful: Three things convince me…

2. Verbs that rely on adverbs

Powerful verbs are strong enough to stand alone.

Examples

The fox ran quickly dashed through the forest.

She menacingly looked glared at her rival.

He secretly listened eavesdropped while they discussed their plans.

3. Verbs with -ing suffixes

Examples

Before: He was walking

After: He walked

Before: She was loving the idea of…

After: She loved the idea of…

Before: The family was starting to gather…

After: The family started to gather…

The List of 195 Powerful Verbs

  • Advance
  • Advise
  • Alter
  • Amend
  • Amplify
  • Attack
  • Balloon
  • Bash
  • Batter
  • Beam
  • Beef
  • Blab
  • Blast
  • Bolt
  • Boost
  • Brief
  • Burst
  • Bus
  • Bust
  • Capture
  • Catch
  • Charge
  • Chap
  • Chip
  • Clasp
  • Climb
  • Clutch
  • Collide
  • Command
  • Crackle
  • Crash
  • Crush
  • Dash
  • Demolish
  • Depart
  • Deposit
  • Detect
  • Deviate
  • Devour
  • Direct
  • Discern
  • Discover
  • Drain
  • Drip
  • Drop
  • Eavesdrop
  • Engulf
  • Enlarge
  • Ensnare
  • Erase
  • Escort
  • Expand
  • Explode
  • Explore
  • Expose
  • Extend
  • Extract
  • Eyeball
  • Fish
  • Frown
  • Gaze
  • Glare
  • Glisten
  • Glitter
  • Gobble
  • Govern
  • Grasp
  • Grip
  • Groan
  • Growl
  • Guide
  • Hail
  • Heighten
  • Hurry
  • Ignite
  • Illuminate
  • Inspect
  • Instruct
  • Intensify
  • Intertwine
  • Impart
  • Journey
  • Lash
  • Lead
  • Leap
  • Locate
  • Magnify
  • Moan
  • Modify
  • Multiply
  • Mushroom
  • Mystify
  • Notice
  • Notify
  • Obtain
  • Oppress
  • Order
  • Paint
  • Park
  • Peck
  • Peek
  • Peer
  • Perceive
  • Picture
  • Pilot
  • Pinpoint
  • Place
  • Plant
  • Plop
  • Poison
  • Pop
  • Position
  • Power
  • Prickle
  • Probe
  • Prune
  • Realize
  • Recite
  • Recoil
  • Refashion
  • Refine
  • Remove
  • Report
  • Retreat
  • Reveal
  • Revolutionize
  • Revolve
  • Rip
  • Rise
  • Ruin
  • Rush
  • Rust
  • Scan
  • Scrape
  • Scratch
  • Scrawl
  • Seize
  • Serve
  • Shatter
  • Shepherd
  • Shimmer
  • Shine
  • Shock
  • Shrivel
  • Sizzle
  • Skip
  • Slash
  • Slide
  • Slip
  • Slurp
  • Smash
  • Snag
  • Snarl
  • Snowball
  • Soar
  • Sparkle
  • Sport
  • Stare
  • Steal
  • Steer
  • Storm
  • Strain
  • Stretch
  • Strip
  • Stroll
  • Struggle
  • Stumble
  • Supercharge
  • Supersize
  • Surge
  • Survey
  • Swell
  • Swipe
  • Swoon
  • Tail
  • Tattle
  • Transfigure
  • Transform
  • Travel
  • Treat
  • Trim
  • Uncover
  • Unearth
  • Untangle
  • Unveil
  • Usher
  • Veil
  • Weave
  • Wind
  • Withdraw
  • Wreck
  • Wrench
  • Wrest
  • Wrestle
  • Wring

Of course there are many more. Jerry Jenkins just provided a list of examples to get you thinking 🙂

-Jan R

195 Powerful Verbs That Will Spice Up Your Writing

Will Your Manuscript Be Rejected?

I have to admit I’m wondering this myself right now. I submitted my second novel for consideration of representation a little over a month ago. I do multiple submissions after reviewing the biographies and type of work each of the literary agents represents, and like you, sit back and wait anxiously. Well, that isn’t totally true. I do try to busy myself with other projects while I wait, but the thoughts are never far from my mind.

After submitting the initial queries, I got a request for a full proposal. This was something I’ve never done before, at least not in the detail that the agent asked. I wrote a blog on this a couple of weeks ago in hopes of giving you a heads up. At any rate, I’m on the edge of my seat waiting for a response. The proposal was a rush job as I thought he wanted it immediately, but apparently not. I suppose I should have asked when he needed it. If I had just a few more days, it would have been so much better. Yes, I battle the same thoughts and second guesses you do 🙂

Enough babbling now let’s get to the blog.

This is one of my favorite blogs. I wish I could claim it, but the post was actually written by Jerry Jenkins. I love his work. If you haven’t visited him, I would highly recommend you do. He did put a disclaimer at the end of this article saying it was ok to share with friends, so I am in no way stealing his work. Hope this helps someone and hope you consider visiting his site.

It doesn’t sound fair.

It doesn’t seem right.

But here’s a dirty little secret of the writing life you need to hear:

Any veteran editor can tell within two minutes whether they’re going to reject your manuscript.

It takes longer to decide whether they’ll recommend it for purchase, of course, but—sad to say—it can, and often does, go into the reject pile just that fast.

“What?” you say. “Before I’ve had a chance to wow them with my stupendous villain? Before my mind-blowing twist? Before my plot really takes off?”

Sorry.

And I’m not exaggerating.

Why?

Because the competition is so stiff and editors have so many manuscripts to read, you have only nanoseconds to grab them by the throat and hang on.

Every writing mentor hammers at this ad infinitum: Your editor is your first reader.

Every word counts. You get one chance. You must capture them from the get-go.

Am I saying editors look for reasons to reject your work?

No, no, a thousand times no! They’re looking for the next Harry Potter!

Editors want you to succeed!

Then how can they know so quickly that your book won’t cut it?

In my lifetime in the business I’ve heard dozens of reasons, but let me give you my personal top five from my experience as both an editor and publisher:

  1. Throat-clearing

This is what editors call anything that comes before a story or chapter finally, really, begins. It usually consists of a page or two of scene setting and background. Get on with the story. Get your main character introduced, establish and upset some status quo, then plunge him into terrible trouble that reveals the engine of your story. Is it a quest, a journey, a challenge, what?

There’ll be plenty of time to work in all those details that seemed so important while you were throat-clearing that would have cost you a sale. For now, your job is to start with a bang.

  1. Too many characters introduced too quickly

I’m usually wary of generalizations or hard and fast rules, but almost any time I see more than three characters within the first few pages, my eyes start to swim. If I feel like I need a program to keep track of the players, I quickly lose interest.

Your reader is trying to comprehend the story, and if you ask him to start cataloging a cast of characters right away, you risk losing him. Keep things simple until the story has taken shape.

  1. Point of View violations

Maintain a single Point of View (POV) for every scene. Violate that cardinal rule and you expose yourself as an amateur right out of the gate. Beginners often defend themselves against this criticism by citing classics by famous authors or citing J.K. Rowling, the exception who proves the rule.

Times change. Readers’ tastes evolve. This is the rule for today, and it’s true of what sells.

  1. Clichés, and not just words and phrases

There are also clichéd situations, like starting your story with the main character waking to an alarm clock, a character describing herself while looking in a full-length mirror, future love interests literally bumping into each other upon first meeting, etc.

Also avoid beginning with an evocative, dramatic scene, and surprise, surprise, the main character wakes up to discover it’s all been a dream. There’s nothing wrong with dreams, but having them come as surprises has been used to death and takes all the air from the balloon of your story.

It’s also a cliché to have your main character feel his heart pound, race, thud, or hammer; and then he gasps, sucks wind, his breath comes short… If you describe the scene properly, your reader should experience all that and you shouldn’t have to say your character did. Put your character into a rough enough situation, and the reader will know what he’s feeling without having to be told—and hopefully, he’ll share his distress.

  1. Simply bad writing:
  • Written-ese

This is what I call that special language we all tend to use when we forget to Just Say It. I recently edited this sentence from a beginner: “The fire drop from the pommel of Tambre’s sword shot past the shimmering silver mist of her involuntary dispersal.”

I had to read a few more paragraphs to have a clue to what it even meant. That’s written-ese.

Hollywood screenwriters coined this term for prose that exactly mirrors real life but fails to advance your plot. There’s nothing wrong with the words themselves, except that they could be synopsized to save the reader’s time and patience. A perfect example is replacing all the hi’s and hello’s and how are you’s that precede meaningful dialogue with something like: “After trading pleasantries, Jim asked Fred if he’d heard about what had happened to Tricia. ‘No, what?’”

  • Passive voice

Avoid state-of-being verbs. Change sentences like “There was a man standing…” to “A man stood…”

  • Needless words

The most famous rule in the bible of writing hints, The Elements of Style, is “Omit Needless Words,” which follows its own advice. This should be the hallmark of every writer.

Example: The administrative assistant ushered me through the open door into the CEO’s office, and I sat down in a chair across from his big, wood desk.

Edit: Obviously, there would be a door. And even more obviously, it would be open. If I sat, I would sit “down,” and naturally it would be in a chair. Because I’m seeing the CEO, a description of his desk would be notable only if it weren’t big or wood.

Result: The administrative assistant ushered me into the CEO’s office, and I sat across from his desk.

Re-examine these 5 common mistakes, and study more self-editing tips here

-Jan R

Will Your Manuscript Be Rejected?

Why I Enter Writing Contests and You Should Too!

I published this blog a couple of months ago and got little traffic, even though I thought it was one of my most informative blogs to date. Maybe the title wasn’t catchy enough or wasn’t reflecting what I was trying to say. So, I decided to repost under a different name. For the newbies out there, the title does matter.

I entered the ACFW Genesis contest a couple of months ago and received the results from the judges this past week. I did not win, but received a plethora of information that I could use to improve my novel as well as future endeavors.

I’m posting the tally sheet with the middle score and judge who offered the most commentary. Two of the judges really seemed to like my work, and one did not. But I’m leaving that for a future blog post 🙂

They were judging my summary and the first fifteen pages of the novel. Along with the scorecard, they provided commentary on those pages, pointing out the reason I received the scores that I did and ways to improve my writing.

The judges were editors and published authors. They were people with experience. If you’re like me, you’ve had friends and family review your work. While they can tell you if it’s a good story or not, they probably don’t have a clear understanding of the mechanics or expectations a book requires to be published.

It was $35 dollars well spent. I got invaluable information, and a chance to get my work in front of professionals in the field.

The takeaway from their reviews is that it is a great story but needs some polish 🙂

Entry: Ariel’s Revenge

Judge #: GHRJ298 | File Name: 000069014.docx

QuestionScoreComment
Does the entry hold your interest to the end?5.00Yes, I found the summary very interesting! Love that it’s a complex adventure with mystery.
Is the point of view consistent? Are POV changes smooth and logical?5.00Yes, each is well-placed.
Do sensory details (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste) enhance the scenes?4.00It is mostly smell and feel.
Is there a sense of time and place?4.00I can tell by the way they speak and transportation that it’s like the 1700s, but I’m not sure when exactly.
Do the scenes move the story forward?3.00Yes, but Ariel reflects and comments too much and repeats those that they slow down the story and tension. I have pointed this out in the Word doc.
Is there an opening line that immediately hooks the reader into the story?5.00Yes, I like that it starts with Ariel speaking and it gives mystery to why she’s doing what she’s doing that I want to keep reading to find out.
Is the writing fresh and original?4.00Mostly, it just gets weighed down by all the commentary and repetition. I’d like to see some beautifully written lines. But the POVs do have personality.
Does the writer utilize showing and telling?4.00Mostly so.
Is the author’s voice distinct?4.00Mostly because of the strong personalities of POVs.
Do you get a strong sense of what the story will be about?5.00Yes, and not just because of the summary. I can tell her plans won’t work out the way she’d like, that Blake will butt heads with her but they will fall in love, and that her step-uncle will be hot on her trial and catch up to her and reveal who her father really was and how he was murdered.
Does the author have a command of the elements of grammar, punctuation, and spelling?5.00Yes. There were only like 3 places that needed fixing.
Does the manuscript reflect Christian worldview? Are the story and plot elements compatible with the genre category?5.00Yes, although, so far, it is only Ariel who prays and exudes Christian-like attributes.
Is the dialogue between characters strong, revealing plot and emotion in a way that creates tension? Does it help move the story forward?4.00Yes, but I’d like for Ariel to have someone like her handmaid help her escape just so she has some real dialogue and someone to talk to. I get that she’s on her own, but her scenes feel very isolated.
Are the characters’ voices distinct and appropriate for the setting (time period or scenario?)4.00Mostly so. They each speak in a way and use terms for that time period. There were only a few lines that didn’t seem to fit the way they are worded.
Is the narrative necessary and well-placed with the dialogue?5.00Yes, each POV comes across as well-placed with strong motives and something to add to the story.
Are character motivations powerful enough to create sufficient conflict?4.00Yes, however, I know the most about the antagonist, her step-uncle, in what he wants and why and how he’s going to get it and what stands in his way. I only know that Ariel doesn’t want to marry him but not really what she thinks about marriage or what she wants for herself or even how she plans to clear her father’s name. I know that Blake wants to avenge his fallen comrades and get to what really happened that night, but so far I do not get the sense from what I know from the summary that he’s a rake. I’m not sure what he wants exactly or why he’s a spy.
Is the tension and conflict discernable enough to tell what the story will be about?4.00Yes, although if Ariel, Blake, and Charles’s motives were clearer, we’d have more specific conflicts.
Is the goal and purpose of the main character identifiable? Do you get a sense of what he/she wants?4.00Mostly, see my explanation above about their motives.
Do secondary characters contribute to the story?4.00Yes, they add important dialogue and tension.
Do characters’ emotions seem believable by providing understandable motive?5.00Yes, I get a sense of urgency from Ariel, sadness from Blake, and anger from Charles.
Total Score:87.00 

Hope this helps someone.

-Jan R

Why I Enter Writing Contests and You Should Too!

Settings Are More Than a Place – Revisited

When you hear the word setting, you think of a time period and place, but settings do so much more than that.

With sci-fi and historical novels, the setting becomes an important part of the story. The setting doesn’t have to be real but it does have to be believable.

Writing historical novels, do your research and throw in some things that you would expect to see during the time period.

Writing Sci-Fi, you’re creating a world. Your setting needs to be detailed. Help your reader to visualize it. Draw them in.

Settings should be visceral and vivid and allow us to experience the world the author is building as if we are one of the characters within the narrative.

Settings evoke a mood. In horror stories, your description of a haunted house should evoke fear in your readers.  In a mystery, your setting should evoke suspense and curiosity. In a comedy, your setting should evoke laughter or an anticipated thrill.

Settings provide information about your characters. How does their home look? Is it messy, neat, compulsively organized? Do they surround themselves with darkness or light?

Settings can also be used to evoke the passage of time and movement. The saplings we had planted in our youth towered above the two-story house. This was home, at least the house that I remembered.

Who knew there was so much to writing. I hope this evoked thought and helped you better understand the use of settings in your novel.

Something to think about.

-Jan R

Settings Are More Than a Place – Revisited

Narrative Vs. Exposition – Tell Vs. Show

I remember when I first started taking my writing seriously. I did a lot of research and read a lot of information on how to write a publishable novel. Somewhere along the way, I missed the part were narrative and exposition were not the same. As a matter of fact, I used the two interchangeably.

In response to one of my earlier blogs, a fellow blogger commented that she thought I was wrong in reference to a statement I had made concerning exposition and narrative. She, of course, was right, and as a result, I took a closer look at these two concepts.

Narrative

  • Narrative is your voice as the writer sharing information with your readers.
  • It tells the reader instead of showing.
  • Narrative lets you set the scene and give background information.
  • Used for transitions, it moves the reader from one scene to another.
  • It slows the pace.

Exposition

  • Exposition provides the detached, third-party perspective on a story.
  • Shows the reader what is happening, doesn’t tell them.
  • Uses description to inform and move the story forward.
  • Exposition gives the reader more information, more emotion, and helps with active scenes by quickening the pace.
  • Allows us to hear character thoughts.

In a nutshell, narrative is telling, exposition is showing. I found the following example during my research and thought it did a good job of showing what I am trying to explain.

Exposition: Brian stopped and reached into his pants pocket. He pulled out a lighter. Then, he reached into his lapel pocket for his pack of cigarettes and took one out. He placed the cigarette between his lips, cupped his hands, and lit it. After putting his lighter back in his pants pocket, he resumed walking.

Narration: Brian stopped to light a cigarette and resumed walking.

So much info on this subject. It still can be confusing, and it seems everyone has a different opinion. I would encourage you to do your own homework and think twice about using the two concepts interchangeably. They are not the same.

Something to think about.

-Jan R

Narrative Vs. Exposition – Tell Vs. Show

Don’t Leave Your Reader Behind!

I’ve written several blogs patting authors on the back and thanking them for the joy they provide to people like my mom.

She is elderly and can’t go to the places she would like to visit, but my mom loves books. They take her not only to places she would like to go but places she could only go to in her dreams.

Consider this! Your novel is a journey. You aren’t just walking through that journey. You are the tour guide, and you’re taking your reader with you.

When you write that novel, you are doing at least one of several things.

  1.  Taking the reader somewhere they cannot personally go.
  2. Showing your reader new aspects of a place they are already familiar with.
  3. Suggesting a place your reader could not even imagine existed.
  4. Reflecting on places, people, and situations that your reader may be familiar with, but are unable to put into words with your particular expertise.

Enjoy the journey and be cognizant of those who are with you. Remember, they can’t read your mind. It’s your job to put the story in writing and make sure that your reader is following the intended path. You are the guide! You are their eyes and ears!

Something to think about.

-Jan R

Don’t Leave Your Reader Behind!

The Five Tools of Showing

There are 5 tools for showing.

  • Dialogue
  • Action
  • Interior dialogue
  • Interior emotion
  • Description-Sensory

If you’re doing anything that’s not one of these 5 things, you’re not showing you are telling.

Why is it so important to show versus tell? Showing provides your reader with a powerful emotional experience. If you want to be a best selling author, that’s what you have to do.

It doesn’t matter how great you do everything else in that novel, if you’re missing that emotional experience, you lose. If everything you did is bad, but you have a great emotional experience, you may still win.

Every great novelist will tell you; you have to give your reader that powerful emotional experience, or they won’t be coming back.

-Something to think about 🙂

-Jan R

The Five Tools of Showing

Show Don’t Tell!

anton-chekhov-moon-is-shining-quote-630x473.png

I recently entered a writing contest and was surprised to see that most of the negative comments reflected my telling not showing.

While two of the three judges were very complimentary of my work, they joined the one who wasn’t, to point out places where I was telling and not showing.

I thought I could use a refresher on how to show and not tell, and of course, wanted to share it with you.

I can’t count how many times I’ve heard the phrase-show don’t tell. Everybody knows you’re supposed to show and not tell. You want the reader to experience the scene as if they are one of the characters walking through the story beside the hero/heroine.

If you’re like me, you know what you’re supposed to do, but it’s a lot harder than it seems. Once you start writing that novel, you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

There are 5 tools for showing:

  • Dialogue
  • Action
  • Interior dialogue
  • Interior emotion
  • Description-Sensory

If you’re doing anything that’s not one of these 5 things, you’re telling.

Why is it so important to show versus tell? Showing provides your reader with a powerful emotional experience.

It doesn’t matter how great you do everything else in that novel if you’re missing that emotional experience, you lose. If everything you did is bad, but you have a great emotional experience, you may still win.

It all comes down to the takeaway. Every great novelist will tell you, you have to give your reader that powerful emotional experience or they won’t be coming back.

-Something to think about 🙂

-Jan R

Show Don’t Tell!